Up in Flames
by Mythical Darkness
Summary: Dean and Castiel were the best of friends as young kids, but after the death of Dean's mother, they moved away. Ten years later, Dean and his family moved back, but Dean had blocked out the painful memory of his mother's death, gone mute, and not remembering Castiel at all. Can Castiel make Dean remember and feel better? [Slash in later chapters]
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of their characters, this all belongs to them, I am just borrowing them for this story.**

**Warnings will be in later chapters when needed, this just has a bit of depressing Mary Winchester death, so I apologize.**

**It is rated M for a reason, there will be slash in later chapters, if you don't like it, don't read it, don't need to be all hot and bothered by me writing it. There will be swears in it as well, so don't be surprised there. There will be warnings in each chapters if there are any trigger events that do bother you. **

**AN: Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this, I soooo appreciate it n-n please if you like it, take the time to review, your reviews give me a rush of euphoria, and makes we want to write more and more and more so please REVIEW and give me ideas on where to go, and leave CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Yeah, I know this chapter is short and I apologize for the fast depressing intro to this story, but it can only go up from here!**

…**right? No, probably not, if it's from Supernatural, it's going to rip your heart out, AU or not, at least I'm not the a show writer, I'm not that cruel. *COUGH COUGH COUGH***

Prologue

"Dean, come play with me?" The young boy with piercing blue eyes asked the other, a hopeful expression on his face. The two boys were only seven years old at the time, and they were the best of friends.

"Lemme go ask Momma!" Dean told the young boy named Castiel. Running into the house, he began to tug on Mary Winchester's pant leg.

Looking up from playing with Sam, Dean's younger brother who was three, grinning at her son. "What is it sweetheart?" She asked in a sweet voice that had always made Dean grin.

"Can I go play with Cas?" He asked, eyes hopeful and eager to be with his best friend.

"Are you sure you don't want to help me bake some pie?" She asked, ruffling the older sibling's hair.

"Pleeeaase, Momma?" He began to beg.

"Alright, but bring Sam would you?" She asked him, as he jumped up and down in joy.

"Mooom!" Dean protested, eyeing his drooling, three year old baby brother.

"Dean, please?"

"Fine." He said grumpily, looking over at his little brother, going up to his mother, hugging her tightly. "I love you Mommy." He said, picking up his rather large brother before heading outside.

"We have to play with Sammy too, Cas." Dean said as he crossed the street to join Castiel, who was now throwing a ball up in the air and catching it.

"That's okay, I like Sam." He said, smiling as Dean plopped down next to him, snatching the ball away from him as he threw it up.

"Hey!" Cas protested, sitting up and glaring at his friend.

"Mine now!" Dean said, rolling it over to Sam, who was having a staring contest with Cas's new puppy, who he had appropriately named Frodo, Dean and his favorite character from their favorite movie.

All of a sudden a giant explosion came from the Winchester house, going up in flames, Dean felt his knees lock, but he stood up and ran towards it full speed, screaming at his mother to get out of the house. Castiel ran over to Dean, holding him back to keep him from running into the house and into the flames of the house. There was no doubt in their minds that Mary was gone, even Sam was screaming, even if it was just from the deafening boom of the house.

After the fire department, police, and ambulances came and left, the grim look on John Winchester, Dean's father, said it all. She wasn't coming back.

Castiel sat in his house, hugging Dean close as he cried for his mother whom he loved dearly. "I'm so sorry Dean." He whispered to his friend, wishing he could do anything to make Dean feel better.

Months had past, and Dean hadn't returned with his father and Sam. As sad as Castiel was, even at a young age, he knew that Dean wasn't going to be coming back.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

**AN: Bonus chapter, HOORAY!~ So yeah, I'll do what I can to have a good schedule for this. If you read it and you like it and I haven't been updating, yell at me and I'll fix that c: and yes, the house exploded. I'll get into that a bit later, Dean will open up to it. Don't forget to review, I love them c:**

**Warnings: Homophobic language, swearing**

Castiel had heard mumblings of a new guy in school, which was rather unfortunate, Castiel would hate to transfer to a new high school his senior year, but then again, he would do just about anything to get away from the school he was at now.

"Hey, Cassy!" His cousin Anna greeted him, walking up to his locker with their friend Chuck.

"How many times do I have to tell you Anna? Do not call me Cassy; it makes me sound more feminine than I am labeled already.

"Aw, c'mon Cas, lighten up a bit, don't pay those dicks any attention." Chuck told him, clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"So who is this new guy I continue to hear about?" Castiel asked, closing his locker.

"Dean Winchester," Anna started, Castiel's head looked up at the mention of the name. "He apparently moved in a couple days ago, him and his brother Sam." She finished, catching the odd look on Castiel's face.

"Dean?" Castiel repeated, making sure that was the name that came out of Anna's mouth.

"Yeah, Dean." She said again, raising an eyebrow at the odd expression on Castiel's face. "Why, do you know him?"

"Actually, yes. He used to be my best friend. When we were seven years old, there was an unfortunate accident, and they moved away. No doubt to escape such awful memories." He said,

"What happened?" Chuck asked, looking at Castiel curiously.

"I am not at position to say, Dean should be the one to tell others, if at all." He said, frowning at the memory of the house going up in flames. Poor Mrs. Winchester. Poor Dean.

"He doesn't talk," Anna told him simply. "Apparently he's a mute."

Castiel frowned at this, he knew that Mrs. Winchester's death had affected Dean greatly, he had just wished he had some way to keep in touch, he had missed Dean. When the warning bell for first period rang, Castiel walked toward his class, keeping his head down.

"Hey faggot." Raphael yelled from across the hall, his buddies laughing at the hateful slur that was thrown at Castiel. Not bothering to give the bully satisfaction, he continued to walk away to his class like he hadn't heard a thing.  
"Hey fucker, I was talking to you!" Raphael shouted louder, but Castiel kept walking as he was shoved forward.

Hearing shoves and screams behind him, Castiel turned around to see who had come to his aid, and shocked when he saw Dean shoving Raphael into a locker.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Raphael yelled at Dean, attracting attention from other students.

"Dean, stop!" Castiel shouted, pulling his old friend away from fighting the others.

"Well lookie, here! Castiel has a faggot friend!" Raphael said to his groupies, they laughed instantly, like it was meant to be a command.

Grabbing Dean by the arm, he took him into the empty staircase, and Dean gave him an odd look that looked as if to say, 'how do you know my name?'

"We used to be friends before-" Castiel stopped himself, he didn't want to bring up bad memories for Dean.

Dean looked even more confused, using sign language, which Castiel couldn't understand at all.

"We were seven," Castiel explained as the first period bell rang, surprised to find that he didn't care about soiling his perfect attendance. "We were friends. You lived across the street from me."

Dean nodded in understanding, but then took out a notebook, writing something down, then handing it over to Castiel to read.

_I haven't remembered anything from when I was seven. The memories hurt me so much that I can't talk, and I blocked out what happened. If we knew each other, I'm sorry but I don't remember. _

Castiel frowned, but understood completely. "It's alright, Dean." He smiled. "Where's your first class?" He asked, Dean handed him over his schedule for the day.

"That's my first class, come with me, I'll show you the way." He said, guiding Dean up the stairs and into the first classroom on the left.

"Castiel, you're late. Who's this?" Mr. Crowley asked as they entered a few minutes late into the lesson.

"His name is Dean Winchester, sir." Castiel told him as he took his seat.

"Well I'm sure Dean Winchester can answer that for himself," Mr. Crowley answered with a smirk.

"He's a mute, sir." Castiel told him quietly.  
"Are you now? Well, take a seat in the back, Dean Winchester. We're reading Animal Farm, so you will need to get caught up in that." He told him, handing Dean a copy. "The rest of the class is working on their essay, so you just work on getting caught up and we'll worry about the paper later."

A paper slid onto Castiel's desk a few minutes after he had started to work on his essay.

_Thanks for helping me out there, Cas. And… thanks for pulling me out of beating up those dicks that were calling you gay. If you are, that's cool. I don't think that sort of think should matter, but you're pretty cool, and if we were friends, there was probably a reason for that…_

Castiel smiled at the note, writing back.

_Actually, Dean, I am. Unfortunately, a not so friendly friend decided it was appropriate to tell the whole school. _

_ No way! Who?_

_ Garth. Do not feel bad for me Dean, it's my problem. Seeing how it is your first day here and you do not know me, don't make it yours either._

Castiel was surprised how easy it was to talk to Dean again after ten years, secretly longing for the best friend from ten years ago to remember him.

After a treacherous morning of school, Dean found himself sitting with Sam at lunch that day, talking about Sam's teachers and classmates.

"This guy named Gabriel put a whoopee cushion on my seat." Sam made a face as Dean laughed at him. "It's not funny, Dean!" Sam glared at his older brother.

_Do you think we'll have to clean up Dad when we get home? _Dean signed to his brother with a rueful look.

"We always have to," Sam frowned. "Why should today be any different? If anything, it'll be worse. It's were Mom died."

Dean frowned, remembering the day perfectly. He blinked when he realized that _was _Cas

_Hey do you remember that kid I was friends with when we used to live here? I used to talk about him. _

"Um, yeah a little, why do you ask?" Sam asked, tilting his head as he bit into his sandwich.

_He goes here, I defended him from these jackasses this morning that were calling him names. _

"Why are you telling me this again? Be his friend again!" Dean shrugged, biting into the school burger, which he wasn't that pleased with, but a burger was a burger.

_All they need is some pie and this burger wouldn't taste that bad. _Dean commented with a smirk.

"Oh shut up and eat your burger." Sam said with a laugh, taking another bite out of his food.

"Hello Dean." Castiel said, making Dean jump a foot out of his seat.

_Dammit, Cas! _Dean signed angrily. _Warn a guy next time, would you?_

Sam translated what his older brother said to Castiel, smiling at the older version of who Dean used to talk about all the time growing up.

"So you're Castiel. Dean used to talk about you all the time when I was younger. He said that I had a pretty strong bond with your dog." Sam said with a smile, ignoring the glare that Dean shot his way when he mentioned to Castiel that he had been talking about him.

"Oh yes, Frodo." Castiel smiled, "he's rather old now, I'm surprised that he is still alive, unfortunately. He is not in good condition, I'm afraid."

Dean smiled; the dog was one of the few things he managed to remember. He was small and had these striking blue eyes that were wide every time you called him.

"May I join you?" Castiel asked them.

"Please!" Sam smiled with a nod, and Castiel sat down next to them.

"I would avoid getting into further trouble with Raphael and his friends, they will bring you no good as they do to me, Dean." Castiel warned the older Winchester.

_Don't worry about me Cas, I can take of myself, I'm a big boy now. _Dean joked, laughing as Sam translated his words.

"But Dean, it is my problem, after all. I don't want you to get hurt for something that is my problem to begin with. Please be careful, Dean." Castiel practically begged to him.

_I said don't worry about me Cas. _Dean replied, continuing to chow down on his burger.

"If I cannot change your mind, at least try to stay out of their way."

_If they come to me, then I'll fight back. Otherwise, I will" Dean agreed._

_ "_There's no changing your mind, is there Dean Winchester?" Castiel shook his head, opening his lunch as he watched Dean finish off his lunch.

_Welcome back to my life, Cas. I stop for no one. _


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Warnings: Swearing, mild violence, homophobic language**

**AN: Oh my gosh I can't believe I'm getting people that love this fic so fast x3 I love the reviews I'm getting, and they make me want to write more and if you do review, you get your very own Winchester! Any Winchester you want! But you have to review before supplies run out! There are a couple unanswered questions, but I promise there will be answers, I promise. So yeah I'll stop rambling here and let you read XD**

It had been a boring, and unfortunately long week. Besides Dean, Castiel hadn't had a lot of excitement that week. Finally, it was Friday and he couldn't wait to get home and just finally be alone. There would be no one calling him a 'faggot' or laughing at him for his sexual preference at home.

His brother, Gabriel, greeted him at the entrance of the school, ready to leave. "Finally you show up, Cas. I wanna go home." He grunted in annoyance.

"We're going home, Gabe. Got anywhere to be anytime soon?" Castiel smirked at his younger brother, grabbing his car keys from his bag.

"Oh…" Gabriel said, stopping short as he saw the damage that had been done to the car next to Castiel's. It was an old looking car, black.

A man shouted from behind in complete rage, and he knew the owner of that car immediately.

"Dean, what happened?" Castiel asked him incredulously,

_"Some fuck face defiled my baby, what does it look like?"_ Dean answered, sprinting up to the Impala, checking the damage that had been done to it.

"That'll teach you to mess with the wrong person, Winchester." Raphael shouted from behind the group of boys, Gabriel now standing by Sam to avoid Dean's wrath.

_"Who the fuck do you think you are? I did jack shit to you, and this is what you do? You wreck my fucking car?"_ Dean was furious at this point, his face showing that he was ready to start throwing punches, his hands flying as he signed out words.

"Dean, don't…" Castiel warned him, starting to ease towards the older boy.

_"Cas, stay out of this, it's my problem." _Sam hated translating this, but he knew he had to.

"Yeah, Cassie, stay out of it." Raphael mocked.

"Shut up, Raphael." Castiel shouted, surprised the words came out of his own mouth.

"What did you just say to me, fag?" Raphael replied with a nasty tone.

_"Don't talk to Cas like that!"_ Dean signed in defense to his friend, even if he didn't know him that well, no one talked to a friend of Dean Winchester like that.

"So now you're defending him? Do you want to be at the end of the food chain with your boyfriend here?"

_ "If the top is with people like you, I'll get down with the fleas any day, asshole."_

"Dean…" Sam cautioned, not knowing how to stop his brother once he ever gets started.

"Oh that's it, you dick." Raphael said, stomping towards Dean, throwing his fist towards his face.

Dean ducked the punch, dodging the attack, immediately swinging back at Raphael, connecting with his face.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted, running to pull him back from causing serious harm to the other. Dean tried to shake him off, but the boys grip on Dean's arm only tightened. "Dean, stop it."

_"Fine."_ Dean gave in to Castiel's pleads, backing off. _"Don't think you can win a fight against me, because you won't."_, relaxing into Castiel's touch as he backed off Raphael, whose nose was now severely bleeding.

Walking over to his now defiled car, he inspected the banged up doors and the broken window. He cried out in rage, surprised he was mad enough to scream that loudly.

"Dean, I am sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have…" he frowned, trying not to make himself cry, "I shouldn't have talked to you, you wouldn't be stuck with me if I hadn't."

_"Cas, don't say that. You're pretty cool, I'm glad you talked to me. Otherwise I wouldn't have remembered you." _ Dean signed to Castiel with a reassuring smile.

"You should get Sam home. Come on Gabriel, I need to get my homework done." Castiel said after Raphael and his gang had left to take care of his broken nose.

_"Hey, uh Cas?" _Dean started, relying on Sam to be his translator. _"Do you and Gabriel want to come over?"_

Castiel blinked, he wasn't used to be invited anywhere except by his family. Not knowing what to say since he wasn't used to it, Gabriel answered for him.

"We'd love to, Deano!" He answered, clapping a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "He'll follow you to your house, won't you Dean?" Gabriel asked, although Castiel knew that Gabriel wasn't going to be taking no for an answer, he knew that Sam and Gabriel had grown close since the whoopee cushion incident, and Gabriel was trying to set Sam up with Jess, a girl that Sam instantly developed a crush on his first day, although Sam hadn't told Dean about her.

Dean hadn't thought about his father until he pulled into the driveway, going into full panic mode as he thought about what condition John could be in right now.

Hopping out of the car, he ran up to Castiel, who had gotten out of the car with his younger brother.

_"Wait right here? I'm sorry I just need to take care of something really quick." _ He signed with an apologetic look on his face.

Heading inside, he saw his father passed out on the couch, beer bottles had littered the floor which Dean immediately cleaned off the floor, throwing them into the trash, then hid the rest of the booze in the high cabinet so his father wouldn't go looking for it right away. _What am I going to do with you? _Dean thought to himself, shaking his head at his drunk, passed out father before heading outside to allow the rest into the house.

Sam pulled him aside. "He didn't puke this time, did he?" He asked worriedly.

Dean shook his head no, he hadn't, thank God.

_I'm going to go upstairs with Cas, you and Gabriel have fun, but don't get into too much trouble, I've heard about him and his obnoxious pranks. _Dean signed to his younger brother.

"I'll be fine, Dean." Sam reassured him, walking back over to Gabriel running up the stairs with him after a few words exchanged between the two, something about World of Warcraft.

Dean shook his head, then gestured towards the backyard door, as to ask if they wanted to go outside, which Castiel quickly said yes to, it smelled like alcohol in there.

"So where did you go?" Castiel asked Dean, who had a pad of paper in his hands to talk to Castiel with.

_We travelled around. Dad couldn't hold a job with his drinking problem, so we moved around a lot. Our Uncle Bobby told us to move out here with us so he could keep an eye on our father and us. He was afraid of our father finally drinking himself to death or finally cracking and killing us instead. Bobby is more of a father to us than our actual father is. _

After writing his answer, Dean frowned, as did Castiel. "I'm sorry Dean, I wish… I wish I could have helped you Dean.

They sat there in silence, listening to the birds as Castiel spoke again. "Can you talk if you wanted to?"

_I don't know, Cas. I… I'm afraid to find out. I'm not ready, not yet._ He answered on his writing pad

Castiel nodded in understanding, he just really wanted to help his friend. He smiled at the thought of considering Dean as a friend again. Maybe it was possible to be happy, and Dean definitely made him feel happy, which was more than he could ever say about Anna or Chuck.

Dean made him… happy. He couldn't explain it, but there was something about him that made him blush every time he thought about Dean. Could it be that he… liked Dean?

No, definitely not, that would be impossible, There was no way that Castiel had developed feelings for someone that he had reunited with on Monday, and only talked to him twice in that span of time. However, he still held on to the feeling, that question that stayed in the back of his mind.

Was he developing a crush on Dean Winchester?


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Warnings: Swearing, self-harm, mild violence, underage drinking**

**AN: Sorry if this chapter is crap; it was really hard to write this for some reason, I have no idea where I'm going with this. Help? I was also thinking of writing a non-AU with heavy plot and hunting and all that, ideas? Thank you soooo much to all of you that are following this fic, a few of you are so nice to me I flail every time I read a new review, those of you who reviewed last chapter, I will ship you your very own Winchester! Those who review this one will get your very own Wiener Hut Alfie outfit! (Too soon?) Also, I have a fandom blog on tumblr, samandriel-the-wiener-hut-angel, I'd love love LOVE if you followed it and as always please review this fic, the reviews give me enough want to go on, because this is my first real fic and so far I'm pleased with the results Alright I'll stop rambling. On to the story…**

They spent the rest of their afternoon catching up, Dean had moved around a lot, but they eventually ended up coming back to Kansas because of Bobby forcing them to have a reliable and responsible adult to take care of them when their real father could not. He talked about his passed hook-ups and inability to stay with one girl, which made Castiel frown. He also talked about how people have yelled at him for being a mute, even if it wasn't really his fault he couldn't talk.

"What's it like to move around so much?" Castiel asked him, having moved closer to Dean so he could see him write down what he wanted to say.

_I don't really get to keep friends, but I guess that doesn't come as a surprise. Our dad is a drunk, and I end up taking care of Sam when Dad started to get violent, but we couldn't leave him, he was too far lost to be on his own. Bobby asked for us to move out here so he could keep an eye on us, he's the shop teacher at school, Mr. Singer._

Castiel read this, and frowned at the horrible truth that Dean has dealt with over the years since the death of his mother. His father turned into an alcoholic, leaving Sam and Dean to take care of themselves. "Dean, I'm sorry, that sounds awful. I would hate for that to happen to me. I don't know how you do it so effortlessly."

_Who said anything about me taking it effortlessly? _Dean started, frowning as he wondered why he was telling Castiel any of this. _I don't know why I'm confessing this to you but…_He pulled up his sleeves to reveal cuts and scars, he wasn't proud of it, no one would be.

"Dean I… my God, I had no idea." Dean frowned at Castiel's reaction, wishing he hadn't shown him.

Castiel caught sight of Dean's reaction and frowned, placing a hand on his friend's knee. "Dean, I don't think bad of you. Everyone has their breaking points, you just happened to reach yours." He frowned, continuing. "Even though I don't like it, I'm here for to help you if you need it Dean." Castiel smiled sincerely, meaning what he had said completely.

Dean smiled, he hadn't told anyone because he thought they wouldn't care, but Castiel was so easy to open up to, so he began to write again.

_Back when I was fourteen, my dad had gotten completely shit faced drunk, and I had sent Sammy up to his room. Dad started waving a beer in my face, and before I knew it, I had joined him in being drunk. And the bad part was, I actually enjoyed it, I escaped my life for what seemed to be a few minutes before I threw up and passed out. I felt a little better about it, so I threw my life away. I started drinking with my dad, and of course he didn't care, he drank so much that he seemed to be a perpetual drunk. I thought I was invisible, that it wouldn't hurt me, until one day Sammy caught me drinking. He was heart-broken that I would stoop as low as our dad did. I was a mess until he finally told Bobby. It's partially why he moved us out here, not only was he afraid of how bad my dad would get, but to keep an eye on me. Since then, I've seen to take a new, unfortunate form of self-harm. _

Castiel felt bad, he had no idea how bad Dean felt about the whole thing, no wonder he didn't talk at all. "Dean, I'm so sorry." He watched the other carefully, searching for signs of sadness or pain, but he was completely emotionless. How did he achieve that? "I'm here for you Dean, as I said. I promise." He gave Dean an encouraging smile, continuing to keep his eyes on him.

Dean was the first to take note of the staring contest they were having and turned away almost immediately. _I'm sorry that I told you all that, I shouldn't have. _ He apologized, feeling as though he had just dumped all of his problems onto his renewed friend.

"Don't be, Dean," Cas smiled, telling him that it was completely okay that he let it out. "It's good for you to get your feelings out, Dean. Bottling them up like you've been doing leads to what you've done to yourself, or even worse." He kept himself from tearing up at the thought. "I don't want you to get to a lower point than you are already at."

Dean couldn't help but smile at that, he had never found someone that was genuinely concerned about his well-being. _Thanks Cas, it really means a lot to me, really. _It gave him courage to know that Castiel was here for him. He tried to get his voice to work, but it hurt from years upon years of misuse.

"T-t-thanks f-for l-letting-g me t-talk, C-Cas." Dean sputtered out, his voice rough and gravelly and quiet.

Castiel's eyes went wide like a dear caught in the headlights, processing what Dean had just said out loud. Dean was shocked himself, surprised that he had said that at all.

"Dean did you just…?" Castiel tried to complete his question, but he was so shocked that he couldn't do it.  
Dean just nodded, wearing a similar expression on his own face.

"I'm so proud of you Dean!" Castiel exclaimed, wrapping him into a hug, feeling immediately stupid once he did, why would the fuck would he hug him? Dean's obviously straight, what is he-

But then Dean hugged back, and Castiel's bashing stopped, and he smiled.

He could get used to this.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

**Warnings: Swears, homophobic language**

**AN: I'm so so sorry about how John acts. It hurt to write. And I wrote this after a test in history class… and then in gym class… so… I was half there, half not. . I apologize in advance… for I have no freakin' clue where the hell I'm going with this story. HALP. And if you review this chapter, you'll get your very own guardian angel just like Castiel! Or Gabriel, or anyone really. Even a guardian Dean! Reviewwwww :3**

Of course at that moment Dean's father decided it was a good idea to stumble outside to scream at Dean.

"Whadda fuck you think you're doing ssson?" He slurred, "Why're you huggin' like a faggot?"

Dean tensed up at those words, now standing up and ready to push his father to the ground. He shouted back at him, "go back inside, Dad you're drunk!" This seemed to be the one thing Dean says to his father daily, and he couldn't take it.

"No! I'm 'ere to tell you that gays are a sinnN!" He swayed back and forth as he shouted, whisky bottle in hand.

"I'm not gay! Since when are you religious? I'm definitely sure that God is utterly indifferent to sexual orientation, Dad!" Dean was so angry, that Castiel had to grip him tight to keep him from taking a swing at his own father.

"John, the fuck you think you're doin' ya idjit?" Bobby called, quickly grabbing the half-empty bottle from the elder Winchester's hand. He looked over at a furious Dean and frightened Castiel. "I've got 'im boys, go back to whatever it was y'all were doin'" Bobby said, guiding Dean's father into the house.

"Dean, Castiel started to say, not releasing the grip on his friend's shoulder. "I have no idea he was that bad."

Dean shook his head, he didn't want to talk about this. Whenever Dean hung out with a guy other than Sammy, his father immediately jumped to the drunken conclusioin that Dean must be a gay man.

Castiel must have realized how furious he was, because he was now standing next to him, a hand still on his shoulder. "It'll get better Dean, I promise."

Dean shook his head, turning to Castiel wearing a bleak expression. "I-it n-never gets b-better, Cas."

Despite the situation, Castiel couldn't help but give a small smile.  
"W-what?" Dean asked, becoming slightly flushed at the closeness of Castiel.

Castiel took an awkward step backwards, realizing Dean was uncomfortable.

"How is it you're so comfortable talking to me, but can't even look in anyone elses eyes?" Castiel suddenly asked, realizing that had been the first time he had talked in ten years.

"'M n-not sure,Cas. G-guess you're th-the only-y one that's given me-e confidence."

Castiel smiled wide at his response, feeling better about himself. "I'm glad I can be there for you, Dean."

Deciding to go for a walk (Dean had told Castiel how he preferred not to spend too much time with his father,)

"S-so what's it l-like dealing-g with R-Raphael?" Dean asked him, sounding genuinely concerned for Castiel.

"I learned to ignore them. Why give them satisfaction if all that will do is fuel their hate fire?"

Dean nodded; he did have a good point. "I-I'm s-sorry you-u have t-to deal with th-that all the ti-time."

Dean mentally cursed to himself, hating the stutter he had when he talked.

"you'll learn to talk without stuttering Dean," he consoled him like he could read his mind, shooting him a smile to make him feel better. "As stupid as it sounds, it will get better, from the wise words of J.R.R. Tolkien," he flashed Dean a smile, "this too shall pass."

Dean couldn't help but smile at that, the memories of watching the movies with Cas made him grin.

So Castiel walked with Dean in silence for a few minutes, but the thoughts in his mind were eating him alive.

"Dean I-" but he never got to finish his sentence, because the next thing he knew, Dean's lips were on top of his own.

Castiel would have remembered how good of a kisser Dean was if it weren't for the fact that he was so in shock that he didn't process any of it. Dean on the other hand, regretted it instantly. The strong attraction he felt made him just… kiss him without warning? What was wrong with him?

_Get your lips off of him! _Dean thought in his head, regretting it. Pulling away, he hid the look of regret on his face as he saw Castiel's completely shocked expression.

"Dean I-"

"I have to go." Was all Dean said, leaving Castiel where he stood with a very hurt expression

**AN: *cackles* and thus starts my evil, evil writer style. C; again I will shamelessly self-promote my tumblr, samandriel-the-wiener-hut-angel and don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! Sorry for talking so much, I don't even know if any of you read this, but I like rambling so TAKE IT!**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Warnings: Underage drinking, swearing (duh)**

**AN: I am SO sorry I haven't been updating, but the last few day for me have been… not so great, but I'll try my best to bet back my regulated schedule I had going, but yeah, rough patch, I apologize profusely. Review please, I love it when people acknowledge that they like my stories, because I honestly don't think I'm good at all. Oh and just so you know, there isn't any Sabriel in this, but I always considered Sam and Gabe to have a bit of a funny understanding of each other (if that makes any sense at all, probably not.)**

Dean stopped talking again. After what he did, he shut his mouth. Sam was confused, as was Gabriel. Dean had stormed into the house, so angry he was red in the face. He ignored screams from Bobby to tell him what the fuck was wrong with him, and Sam tried to get him to talk to him, but he just pushed him away, quite hard actually.

Locked away into his room, he blasted ACDC's song _Thunderstruck. _What the fuck was wrong with him? Kissing Castiel like that, what the fuck possessed him to do that? He wasn't even gay!

_Okay Dean, think about girls, hot girls. Lisa! Remember Lisa? The bendy one! _He began to think to himself, ordering himself to not even think about Castiel.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Falling asleep, his last thought was of Cas.

Dammit.

-.-

Castiel was hurt and confused. He wasn't the one that had done the kissing, that was all Dean. How did Dean deserve to treat him this way? He didn't even bother to go back for Gabriel, he just left. A month ago if you had asked Castiel about Dean, he would have said he used to be his best friend from his childhood. Today, well, he had no idea.

"Cas, what the hell?" Gabriel said, barging into Castiel's room with a not so pleasant glare resting on his face.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel." Was all he said, he really didn't feel like talking right now.

"You left me! I had to call Anna to come get me! What the hell, man?" He was furious, but when he Gabriel finally looked at the pained look on his face, he calmed down. "Cas… what happened?" He finally asked, acknowledging the look on his older brother's face.

"Dean kissed me today." Castiel answered, staring up at the ceiling, not even bothering to look at the other.

"He did what?!" Gabriel's tone was complete shock, Dean struck him as the straight as an arrow type.

"And then he stormed away like I was the plague." Castiel finished, trying his best not to let the hurt he felt out.

Gabriel's angry and shocked expression softened to one of pity. "I'm sorry bro, maybe it scared him," his brother reasoned.

"You may be right, but it still gave him no right." Castiel justified, frowning a bit as his phone buzzed.

"Well leaving me there still wasn't cool. Head's up next time, 'kay?" And with that, Gabriel shut Castiel's door, leaving him alone once again.

**Dean 10:58 pm:**

**Cas, what I did was stupid.**

**Dean 11:00 pm:**

**Castiel, I'm really sorry and I understand completely if you're mad at me. Please say something?**

**Castiel 11:02 pm:**

**Please leave me alone.**

**Dean 11:03 pm:**

**Please Cas, I'm sorry but you have to understand that I'm not used to feeling… something for another guys.**

**Castiel 11:05 pm:**

**Should have thought about that before kissing one. **

With that, Castiel turned off his phone and threw it across the room, he wasn't going to keep a conversation going with Dean right now.

After a half an hour of beating himself up, he finally fell asleep.

There was a sharp banging at his window. What time was it? Castiel groaned as he looked at the clock, it was a little past midnight. Who the fuck was at his house?

"Cas!"

Oh.

"Cas, please let me in!"

No, I'd rather not.

"Castiel. Please," Dean pleaded.

That's when it struck Castiel that Dean was actually _talking, _walking across the room to his window; he opened it wide enough to let Dean climb through.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel demanded, placing his hands on his hips in irritation.

"I'm sorry Cas, what I did was stupid. When you stopped answering to me, I knew I wasn't going to get to properly apologize so here I am!"

"Dean, have you been drinking?" Castiel could smell the alcohol in his breath, and the sight slurring of Dean's words as he spoke with a scratchy voice, and he had managed to cover up his stutter.

"Maybe a bit, not like Dad cared at all. Or knows." Dean couldn't help but let out a drunken giggle, and Castiel only frowned.

"Keep it down, my family is trying to sleep." Castiel had to remind the other, dragging him over to his bed.

Dean was too drunk to drive home, and Castiel didn't want to risk sending him home and getting into an accident. "You're staying her tonight," Castiel told him, not even asking him, he just told him. "So get comfy."

Dean didn't really fight it, so he flopped down onto the bed, staring up at the other. "Drunk or not, I really am sorry about what I did. It scared me, so I ran."  
"It's alright," and Castiel meant it, he couldn't stay mad at him for too long.

Grabbing a pillow and blanket, he made himself comfortable on the ground beside his bed where Dean now slept; somehow he wasn't bothered by this as much as he should be.


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey everybody I'm so sorry I haven't been updating lately, I've been having a bad week and on top of that my school life gotten crazy with the end of the year and whatnot so yeah, crazy week but here I am from season 8 finale with a crap load of feels and nowhere to put them, I'll probably write a fic on that next, so yeah… please review this because it's really the only thing that keeps me writing, I love to read what you have to say so yes please review and favorite and follow because I love it!**

When Castiel woke up, he had completely forgotten about Dean. So needless to say, he was shocked when he finally did wake up. After his mini-heart attack calmed, he opened his door to check for family members.

_No one, that's good, _he thought.

"C-Cas?" Dean mumbled, groaning at the splitting headache he got when sitting up.

"Hi," was all Castiel replied, not acting very enthusiastic, he still remembered yesterday.

"Cas, I'm s-sorry for yesterd-day," Dean couldn't help but flush angrily at his stutter.

"Don't apologize, it's fine."

_It's not fine. _

"No it's not."

_Told you._

"You ran from me Dean, like I turned into a demon, you ran away. That alone says enough."

Dean frowned, he was going to have to make it up to Cas bit time.

"It was the shock, all of a sudden I felt _something, _and I acted on it. When I realized what I did, it scared me."

Castiel pressed his lips into a line, choosing not to respond.

"I won't run anymore."

"How do I know that?" The statement of not running had made Castiel look up at Dean, half surprised and half doubtful.

"Because I'd be stupid to run, Cas."

_Stop protecting yourself, stupid he's _Hot! Castiel mentally scolded as he walked over to his bed where Dean sat.

"You promise?"

"Scout's honor, Cas."

So Castiel tested it. Pressing his lips to Dean's, he felt the other tense up, but gave into the kiss. Putting his arms around Castiel's waist, Dean pulled away.

"I told you I wouldn't run."

Castiel rolled his eyes with a playful grin, looking at the time to see it was only eight am.

"You should go home, Sam is probably worried and I really don't want to explain why there is a boy in my room so early in the morning."

"Well that's the fun of it!" Dean started to crack a smile, "freaking people out beyond speech and whatnot!"

"Dean, Michael will throw a fit."

"Who's Michael?"

"My older brother, see my mother and father are always travelling so he's practically raised Gabriel and I." Castiel explained, he looked up to Michael, but he was definitely a bit on the protective side.

"Come on, Cas! We'll tell them that I climbed through your window this morning instead of last night."

Dean wasn't going to leave, was he? Castiel mentally fought with himself for a minute, Michael didn't know Castiel was gay, and he really didn't want his older brother to find out either, the thought of Michael's potential reaction scared him, so he made Gabriel swear not to tell anyone.

"Fine," he said, finally giving into Dean's refusal to leave "you hungry?"

"Starved." Dean replied with a grin.

Castiel guided Dean to the kitchen, mixing up some pancake batter before putting on some bacon.

"What is it like to be back to where, _you know._" Castiel didn't want to say where his mother had died, it was clear that it shocked Dean beyond speech, it was a miracle that he was even talking to Castiel as much as he was, but as Dean had said, he felt comfortable around him. Still, it was nice to know that Dean was so willing to lean onto a friend that he hadn't spoken to in ten years.

"I didn't look at where our house used to be, it scares me to even try. I know they rebuilt it. Dad, Sammy, and I moved out right after it happened. The memories hurt too much, so we started to travel. Dad couldn't exactly hold a job in the condition he's in, so we moved around a lot. Sam hated it, he hates our dad. Hell, I don't blame him. He fights with us constantly, Sam especially. I was glad when Bobby finally said my dad was done with this and refused to take no for an answer. We came back to Lawrence, and we've avoided the house ever since. I couldn't even look at it when I got here."

Castiel frowned, Dean had been through so much since he left, no wonder he was so depressed.

"I'm glad you told me, Dean." He smiled, placing a hand on his, putting a plate of pancakes and bacon Castiel had prepared for the other.

Dean's eyes doubled as he chowed down on the pieces of bacon with a grin. "This is really good Cas, you bake often?" He asked with a mouthful of food.

"I do, it's what I like to call stress baking."

"Make pie next time you get that urge then invite me over."

Castiel made a face "I'll think about that."

After they finally finished their breakfast with interruptions like footsie under the table and other nonsense that Dean considered to be chick flick material, they put the plates into the dishwasher and leaned against the counter.

"Cas there's a car out front, looks like Dean's." Gabriel informed his brother, obviously not noticing that the man in question was right in front of him.

Dean smirked at Gabriel's obliviousness as the younger boy rubbed his eyes from sleep.

"I know," was all Castiel could manage without giggling stupidly.

Finally, Gabriel looked up with a surprised look written all over his face. "When did you get here?"

"A while back, Gabe. Want some breakfast?" Castiel asked his younger brother, changing the subject before it went further into detail of exactly why Dean was here so early in the morning.

Gabriel got over the initial shock of Dean standing there in the kitchen, then grabbed a piece of bacon and headed into the living room as he grumbled something about nobody telling him anything anymore.

Dean chuckled a bit, noticing an old dog laying on a dog bed in the corner of the kitchen. "Hey Frodo!" He called out; getting the blue-eyed, brown, curly furred dog's attention. "No wonder we named him Frodo." Dean realized with a laugh as he petted the dog that wandered over to him with a happy wag in his tail.

"He loves getting scratched behind the ears." Castiel told him as he hopped up to sit on the counter, smiling goofily as Dean petted the dog who was now a very, very happy dog.

"Who the hell is that?" A strong voice asked from the entrance to the kitchen.

"Michael, this is my friend Dean Winchester." Castiel gestured over to Dean who was now standing up straight, a slight hint of fear in his eyes.

What are you doing here?" Michal demanded coldly, crossing his arms as he tilted his head to the side.

"Stop being so rude to him Michal, Dean's mute." He explained, coming to Dean's defense.

"What so he's dumb?"

Dean snarled, signing something that Castiel guessed was less than friendly.

"Michael, stop. He got here this morning, I invited him."

The older brother frowned, then turned to Dean. "Don't get into too much trouble," was all he said before turning around and exiting the kitchen.

"Told you he was protective," Castiel said with a hint of an apology.

Dean shrugged, starting to talk again with everyone that had come and gone. "At least it wasn't at my house. Dad would've pulled out his shotgun and fired."

Castiel couldn't help but shudder at the thought, because he knew Dean wasn't kidding, John was a bit of a spastic drunk.

"So Cas, what do you wanna do?" Dean asked, walking over to the other, leaning himself on the counter where Castiel stood.

"You're staying?"

"That's my plan."

Dean smirked, grabbing a hold of the other's hand and Castiel cursed inwardly as he blushed.

"Well if I can't convince you otherwise, which I'm really not that sad about, we could go downtown. There's a small shop, a movie theater. I rarely go, I usually just stay home and study."

"Wow you need a life."

Castiel didn't really protest at that, mostly for the fact that Dean had grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the house with only enough time to inform his brothers that he was leaving with Dean.

Dean plopped him into the passenger's seat of the Chevy Impala, Dean's pride and joy. He could see Dean' face light up as the engine roared to life. "My dad taught me everything I know about cars, I fix her up when she breaks down." He patted the dashboard as he pulled out of the driveway and Castiel could see the dark expression that developed on Dean as he tried not to look at where his childhood house and mother once were.

**AN: Sorry guys I would have written more but my creative side is just… dead I don't know what happened, I was hoping that this fic would help fix that, but it doesn't seem to be working with really sucks. So please don't complain about the length of a chapter because I truly am trying my best, it's just really hard sometimes. Writer's block is a bitch…**


	8. Imporant author's note!

**AN: Just a quick note for you all, I know I haven't updated in sooo long, so I'm making this note for both my stories to let you know that I am currently working on both, so don't you fear, Cai is here! Hopefully someone wants to read my crappy writing still ;-; OK, so I'm going to get back to work on Up in Flames, then I will work on Reawakened Prince, so all of you that were waiting for this, it's coming probably tonight or tomorrow! Feel free to yell at me if somehow that doesn't happen.**


End file.
